My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
