ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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