I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
