Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
