New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
