why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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