Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
