i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
