I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
