Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
