I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
