ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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