There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
