Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
