well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
