Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
