guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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