guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
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The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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