i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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