Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize