How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
