The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
