Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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