she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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