She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
