D3 body, D1 cock
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize