Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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