you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
