So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
