Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
