then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
