my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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