Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
