my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
