Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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