Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
