So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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