Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
handjob tips. give me some.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
