Apparently you make a good broom.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
