Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
