I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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