then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
