Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
