AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
