my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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