I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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