It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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