U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
