Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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