well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
