I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
