She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
