Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
