i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize