Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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