i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
