i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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