At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
there is puke in my bra ... again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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