It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
